There's something I don't understand. When we help others, even if it's in a tiny way, we usually feel great. So why don't we all do it?

My friend Candace, referring to herself, said to me over the phone, "I'd be the nicest rich person." She was talking about how she'd help people if she was enormously wealthy. She's the sort of gal who'd assist in a gigantic way, like buying a friend a car if she could.

But we don't need to be well-off to make just as big an impact. Small things can mean the world to others. Candace believes that, too, and does more to help than most people I know. When I hung up the phone, I thought, "From what I've seen, she's already being the nicest person she'd aim to be if she were rich. And something about that hits me deeply, because it's giving when giving is hard."

There are others on the Cape, like Candace, whom I refer to as quiet angels. One is named Vinnie. For three years, she's had a project called Vinnie's Hope. It's about helping others by donating time, money, goods, holiday meals, toys or simply offering a caring ear. When I asked about including her last name in this column, she said, "I have not wanted anyone to know who I am." This is because she gives in the purest sense.

Vinnie, like many of us, is far from being able to easily make ends meet. But when she goes food shopping, she buys two of everything and gives half of it to others. She says, "I can't change the world, but I can change my world. If I have a dollar, that means I have 50 cents and you have 50 cents."

On her Web site, www.vinnies-hope.com, I clicked on the link to join, but it didn't work. When I told her that, she said, "I put the link for you just as an FYI. I need to find someone who will help me get my (nonprofit) tax ID going, which I hear is a lawyer, but I would need the (lawyer's) time donated. If you could put Vinnie's Hope out there by word of mouth, that is help enough."

Vinnie never thought I'd write a column about her. She was just hoping I might tell a few friends about her quest. She agreed to my including her e-mail, which is vinaphil@yahoo.com, on the chance that readers might want to help.

Last Christmas I wrote about a woman who spent $5 buying a Salvation Army bell-ringer a pair of gloves. When she saw him on her way into Stop & Shop, he was shivering and blowing on his bare hands to keep them warm. Why was this woman, this quiet angel, the only one who did something to help him? He was freezing! Why did I walk by him? How shameful of me.

I stood inside the market for 20 minutes while I watched a severely developmentally challenged woman collecting donations for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. In all that time, not one person gave a penny. When she shyly asked customers if they'd like to donate, shoppers walked by her as if she weren't even there.

Then I noticed a very old woman slowly amble up and down the kosher foods aisle. A gal asked her, "What are you looking for?"

"I can't find the Manischewitz brand tomato sauce."

Together they reached behind other brands of tomato sauce until they found the right one. Now, why didn't everybody who passed by offer to help her? She was clearly having difficulty.

When I asked a friend why he wouldn't have done anything, he said, "Because she could have asked a store worker to find that brand." True. But she didn't. Besides, what kind of excuse is that?

Remember the term "random acts of kindness"? When we see a nickel on the pavement, most of us pick it up. Do we really need that nickel? Would we ever add a nickel instead? Trust me: You'll feel like a weirdo if you do that. But I guarantee that you'll feel like a really good weirdo.

Maybe we could contact Vinnie. I know she'd be just as happy with a donation of a dollar or a slice of our time or a single toy as she would be with extravagant gifts. That is because she knows that by helping others, we in turn help ourselves. Because then, we all become quiet angels. And that is Vinnie's exquisite hope.

As my friend Marcia sums it up: "Of what value is life, if it does not consist of good deeds?"