The Wackiest Dog Day of this Past Summer

We already know that cat owners are nuts, but dog owners are lunatics.

Recently my husband, Bob, threw a picnic for dogs at a pond on Cape Cod, where lots of folks walk their pooches. Here's what I learned. People like picnics. Dogs like to eat "people" food and mate in public. People like to sit and chat. Dogs like to splash in water, roll around in something disgusting, then return to the picnickers and shake, covering pretty summer outfits with mud and the fragrance of a woodland creature that's been dead for months.

One guest (a dog) grabbed my friend Kate's hot dog. Don't feel sorry for Kate. She's crazy too. She doesn't have a dog, but she knows a joke shop. So she brought a stiff leash at the end of which was simply a stiff collar around what she called her "invisible" dog.

There's something else that dogs do at picnics, or anywhere for that matter. Mark their territory. How? Um -let's see, how do I put this so the editor doesn't scrap it - I've got it. I'll use the formal phrase for urinating - lifting one's leg. Dogs don't care if they're at a picnic when they do this, at least Humperdink (don't ask) didn't. Pet owners are goofy. Most dogs have at least 4 names. I met a greyhound named Charleton, AKA The Charles Man, AKA Charlie-choo, AKA Choo Choo.

Around noon, a woman, with a female dog in heat, approached the picnic area and yelled, "Are there any un-neutered males here?" Without missing a beat, all the human males raised their hands. The lady did not find this knee- slapping funny like I did.

My favorite time was meeting Chester. He's a huge brown dog with three working legs. His owner explained that he has nerve damage to one front leg and therefore can't use it. So this leg drags. To prevent abrasions, Chester wears a protective covering over his paw. Here's the thing. Chester doesn't seem to care a bit! He had a grand old time, swimming and loping and playing. We first looked at him with pity, but not for long. It was as if Chester was saying, "Hey! You're wasting my time and yours feeling sorry for me. Let's play!" And so, we did.

This splendid day was filled with circus-style pandemonium, while tons of people ate and laughed. Early on, we stopped caring about things like the ice that was sneakily being removed from the cooler by each passing dog or the paper napkins getting shredded. (It's a nervous habit I have.) We learned nearly everything makes a great toy. Paper plates can be Frisbees. Sticks can be fetch toys. In other words, dogs . . . just want to have fun.

The next morning, we took our dog, Gracie, back to the pond. It reminded us of the tale of Brigadoon, the fantasy village that appears once every hundred years, only to disappear after one day. Our lovely area was quiet and pristine, as usual. It almost seemed like our magical forest gathering had never happened. But that enchanted time in the woods will
remain forever in our memories.

This wonderful event marked our very first Annual Doggie Day Picnic. I'm so looking forward to next year's. All who attended said it was one of the best days of the summer. I highly recommend putting one together yourself. If so, remember to keep the hot dogs above leaping range.